All Clear!!!

On Wednesday of this past week I had my post op appointment with my plastic surgeon.  I had been a bit anxious about the appointment because I knew that before he could say this skin cancer was behind me, I had to get the pathology results.  When a skin cancer is removed, they take a margin of healthy skin also, so as to have clear borders, without cancer cells at the incision.  When the wonderful assistant, Lori, walked me in to the room she gave me two thumbs up and told me the pathology came back perfect.  HUGE sigh of relief, no more surgery needed!

Dr. McGill came in and quickly announced the same results and said "so, this one is behind you"....to which I replied "yes, this one, right?"  The reality is that I will have to vigilant in watching my skin, with the help of my dermatologist.  The damage to my skin started 41 years ago when I was born in Daytona Beach Florida and continued through my trips to the beach, swimming competitively in outdoor pools all summer, living outside as a child (all summer, outside except for lunch, dinner, and having to come home when the streetlights came on--remember those days??), going to parades, camping, and more ALL without ,use of sunscreen or hats.  Dr. McGill himself said the damage is done; but I need not add to the damage--which I won't.  I'm going to be proudly pale skinned and yes, my friends, co-workers, and family are constantly reminded about the dangers when I see they are burned, or know they are fake and baking (NICOLE), and have little children.....It's all fun and games until a chunk of skin has to be cut out of your body....face, ears, nose, arm, leg, shoulder, foot, hands.....skin cancer doesn't discriminate where it makes it's appearance.

I was fortunate this time....Basal Cell Carcinoma is the least lethal type of skin cancer.  It doesn't spread fast, and if you catch it early, only a small chunk of skin needs to be removed.  Please, be vigilant about your skin and watch changes.  Many of my friends and co-workers are making appointments with my dermatologist as a result of what I've just gone through--they've never been, they've had skin damage and they've never had their skin looked at.  I am happy that my being open about what is going on with me is helping friends make a difference in their lives.

Enjoy this beautiful weekend and please, don't forget to use your sunscreen today!!

**Right after writing this I went to walk at our local Relay For Life event, for our team #relayteamtwitter and the one other survivor I met on our team, also had skin cancer, it is everywhere folks**

Having a little fun with it!

The week of stitches is almost behind me.  As you can see from the picture, my eyebrow is still a bit up but has settled a lot compared to how high it was pulled from the surgery (from removing enough of a border around the skin cancer); and the swelling is no where's near as bad as it was post op.  However, does it every itch!!  Itching is good because it means it's healing....at least that's what they say. 

Tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. I go in to have the stitches taken out. The incision is so different than any I've ever had before with prior surgeries.  Having a plastic surgeon maks all the difference!  The line from the incision is so thin, it seems like it's going to look like a true wrinkle line, just like he aimed to do!  Tomorrow will be the moment of truth!

In the meantime, I've had fun with people asking me what happened when they see the stitches on my head...the following lines people have fallen for (or at least thought about for a second!):

"I was taking out my storm windows"

"My new boss is quite violent!"

"If you think this looks bad, you should see the other girl!"

The best one, man oh man, has made us in advertising laugh all week long!  A coworker asked me in the most sincere concerned voice" Dawn, what happened to your head? Are you ok?" to which I replied "Yeah, I'm Ok.....I got attacked by an Eagle"....and the look of shock and concern that went over his face was priceless!  He's a transplant and just moved to Maine last October, and no one had told him about the "attack eagles" we have in this state :)

Please, please, don't forget to use your sunscreen today!!

"Ohhhh, it's not THAT bad!!"

Everyone who saw the "spot" on my forehead after the basal cell diagnosis always had the same response "Oh that's not bad!" of   "That should leave a real small scar." or  "Nobody will notice it!"  Now, don't get me wrong, everyone has been so incredibly supportive through the weeks of waiting for the excision with my plastic surgeon, Dr. McGill.  However, the post op picture that I had taken right after sitting up shows you that even the smallest skin cancer can leave very large scars in comparison.   I am confident that once the stitches are removed next week, it will look a million times better; but I do feel like a bit of an eye sore at the moment.  My sons won't look me in the eye, my boss, whom I happened to bump into as I was grabbing a few "comfort food" items at the store on the way home, looked away immediately, and the cashier, well, she couldn't look either.  I wish I had a t-shirt made ahead of time saying "If you want a scar like this or worse, keep tanning and burning your skin"..with "skin cancer sucks cuts!" on the back.

 Dr. McGill even commented that it's a small skin cancer to remove and he felt it was superficial (thankfully). The absolute worst part during the procedure was all the injections for the local block he put into my forehead.  There isn't any fat to cushion the injections and let me tell you, they hurt like h*ll!  I think the nurse's hands will be bruised tonight from me squeezing so hard.  Fortunately, Dr. McGill and his assistant were very talkative so it made it easier to bear the pulling and tugging that was going on in my forehead area.  I even talked BDN advertising with them; and convinced him to speak about how invasive skin cancer can be at Tuesday Forum one day soon! 

So, as I stick close to home these next few days, I hope whoever reads this blog also forwards it to the sun worshipers in their lives.  I've never been a sun worshiper, and yet I AM dealing with the lasting effects of skin damage from my childhood.  I wish those who lay in tanning beds this weekend ,or who lay out in the sun, could, just for a moment, feel what it felt like for me this morning.  Maybe, just maybe, some of them will think twice and stop contributing to the skin damage that has already occurred in their lives.

One last thought....On a Discovery Health show called "Extreme Addictions" last weekend there was a girl addicted to tanning.  Everyone kept telling her how concerned they were that she would die from skin cancer.  Her response, on camera was "Well, I'm going to die from something so I might as well die "hot"!  NOT!!!

Please, PLEASE don't forget to use your sunscreen, today.

Less than a week away

Life has been extremely busy in the past week or so, which hasn't allowed me a lot of time to dwell over my upcoming surgery.  Big changes at work, lots of family happenings, and preparing with my team for Old Town Maine's Relay for Life. 

Today we had our last team meeting, during which we found a way to honor my mother in law, Joyce, who lost her 12 year battle with breast cancer on one of our team meeting days, January 31, 2010. Her death hit Team Twitter quite hard, even though they hadn't met her.  They were reminded of why we were raising money for cancer research.  Joyce was only my mother in law for a very short time; but she will be in my heart forever.  Today we created a "Joyce Project" in her honor...collecting bras to be sent to Athena parties to raise money for breast cancer research.  Athena parties wants to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest chain of bras....if everyone who was touched by Joyce's life donates a bra, it will certainly make a huge dent in that record!

Looking at my upcoming surgery that should be pretty simple in the world of cancer, I again realize how fortunate I am.  I am however, a bit anxious as to what the cosmetic results will be when all things are said and done.  I'm hoping they get clean borders the first time around so they do not have to go in again.  I'm also wondering how "beat up" I will look with the swelling and bruising, right around my eye.

What does one do in a situation like mine, when they have a curious mind?  I Google'd "skin cancer surgery images"....and let me tell you, the images were mind boggling.  These images, however, I felt everyone should see who is out in tanning beds to get rid of the winter white legs.  People need to be reminded that white without scars is so much better than tanned with prematurely aged skin, or worse yet, skin that has to be hacked into in order to get rid of the skin cancers that develop.  There were 1 million NEW cases of non-melanoma skin cancers in the US in 2009 (National Cancer Institute)!  I found the powerful skin cancer prevention poster from Australia and wondered if I've ever seen a skin cancer prevention poster in the US?

In the days leading up to my surgery I will be spending time laughing with friends, starting a new role at work and celebrating two of my sons' birthdays (John is 19 on Monday the 10th and Cameron is 17 on Wednesday the 12th!).  I'm kind of bummed that the day after Cam turns 17 he will be taking me to the plastic surgeon for my surgery; but I also know my kids will never forget to use sunscreen. Please, don't forget to use your sunscreen, today.

**check out this blog I found:  http://www.damagedskin.blogspot.com**

Good news; but no added value ;)

Thank goodness today finally arrived.  Doing research, looking up cases, worrying, planning without knowing the plan, would finally be a thing of the past.  I was anxious to see the plastic surgeon to see what his plan was for my face, for my skin cancer.

His first words of "oh just a small nodule" were reassuring and after him having me scrunch my forehead, multiple times, look up at him with my face pointed down (to scrunch it at him again), he drew an eye shaped mark around the basal cell nodule and assured me that it will be a simple excision, in his office (yeah!).  His aim is to have the scar eventually look like just another line in my forehead.  However, yes, for a short time one eyebrow will be raised; but he assured me that as things relax it should come back into line.( Perhaps I'll have concentrate on this picture's look again?)  When I asked him the "what if they find at the lab that the borders aren't all clear?" he simply replied that it would be a conversation we would have if indeed that happened.  However, he felt pretty good about what the plan of action is. Bad news:  I was unable to convince him to give me some "added value" with a breast augmentation at the same time...at least not yet ;)

Two weeks from tomorrow, a chunk of skin will be removed on my forehead, down to the muscle.  I feel fortunate that the procedure should be quite simple. He wouldn't tell me an estimate of the number of stitches that would be needed, probably not wanting to scare me.  I however, assured him that I had him beat no matter how many he used.  When he asked how and I told him about my back surgery for scoliosis, he said he definitely wouldn't use that many stitches. I'm in hopes that this surgery will be the last of anything to do with this recurrence.  However, I know from the sun damage I have had over the years I will probably be facing other surgeries over the course of the years to come.  A relative of family friends is not so lucky this time around.  She has been battling basal cell carcinoma for years.  The current area of recurrence is on the top of her head.  She has had it excised, it won't heal, and now she is looking at a skin graft on top of her head.  Skin cancer isn't fun, it isn't pretty and can become an ongoing battle.  Why not battle the sun and it's rays BEFORE the damage is done?

In updating my company's HR manager about what the process will be, she was very relieved for me.  In talking about preventing skin damage she told me she is the whitest person around and that she "embraces her whiteness".....smart smart lady. 

Many friends are telling me that they are using their sunscreen because of this blog....YEAH!  Please, don't YOU forget to use your sunscreen today, too!

Gut Reactions

When one gets a dose of reality, there usually is a different perspective on life that results.  My dose of reality is that my skin cancer is back; and this time the surgery isn't going to be simple.  The appointment with the plastic surgeon has been moved up one day to Wednesday, April 28th at 9 a.m. I'll be glad to have the appointment out of the way and know what we are looking at for the surgery.  With my skin cancer recurrence, I look at other areas on my face and wonder what is next...my cheek? Nose? Chin? From what I have heard, if you have recurrent Basal Cell Carcinoma, it is likely to continue to recur.  Will my face eventually become a mass of skin cancer scars?  I certainly hope not.

My gut reactions in life have truly changed since starting this blog, since my skin cancer returned.  Last night a friend was tagged with photos on facebook from their trip to the Caribbean.  As I looked through the photos of my blond haired blue eyed lifelong friend, burnt to a tan, blond hair glowing, I felt sick to my stomach.  I wanted to scream "DON'T DO IT!" "Burns are not worth it!" Will looking 'good' by burning your skin now make up for how destructive skin cancer will be later on? Here are some skin factor facts from the American Cancer Society.  I am certainly hoping this friend reads my blog and realizes that she wants to keep her beautiful face in one piece; and that she wants to be around to raise her young children.  Why chance fate?  Both she and I certainly got enough skin damage growing up, sans sunscreen.

I had the opportunity to take my youngest son, Logan, to see the Broadway production of CATS that was on tour.  Logan is fifteen years old and theater is his passion.  He has acted, been back stage, done the sound and most often is the light board operator for the local theater's productions.  While many of my friends' husbands were begging to go home, Logan was taking the whole show in with amazement.  After the show, Logan and I went through the local Taco Bell drive thru for some "cheesy double beef burritos"....all three of my growing boys' favorite cheap fast food.  I decided to have fun at the drive thru and added multiple cheesy and beef amounts such as "6 double cheesy triple beef cheese burritos"....followed by ordering the most difficult item I could quickly see with of course, having fun with being unable to pronounce the "Salsa.....totada....bodata" or something like that.  Logan burst into laughter and kept giggling as we were driving off with our food.  I asked him why he was still giggling and he said "I just didn't ever picture you pulling pranks"....WOW...what a huge gut reaction for me!  I've been so busy being "mom", and "dad" and "provider" and "nurse" and "disciplinarian" that my boys don't know that "Dawn" can get a room into tears from laughter, and does so often.  I've vowed that my guys are going to get to know "Dawn" and feel badly that they haven't already because I've been so busy taking on all the other roles in their lives!

In the midst of all that is going on, life does go on; and as a single woman, that sometimes means "dating" might be on the agenda.  Prior to my appointment with Dr. Prokop I had started talking to a gentleman online. When I found out the skin cancer had returned, I felt like I needed to let this guy know that this probably wasn't going to be the best time for me to get to know someone. Besides the fact that was under more stress than usual, the prospect of what this surgery might entail seems like a not so fun thing to become involved in if you don't have to.  So, I sent this gentleman a note telling him such, with a link to this blog.  I told him I'd understand if he didn't want to continue to get to know each other at this point.  I expected his gut reaction would be to run.  Much to my surprise, he told me he first of all was sorry to see what I was going through; but secondly of course he wanted to continue to get to know me and to let him know if he could help out in any way.  We proceeded to schedule our first date (the picture from the mountain top that he drove me to-where most other vehicles dare not go) is at the top of this entry.  We've had multiple dates since and it's very comforting to know that I have someone else in my corner ....Thanks B!

Thanks for reading my blog, friends, and please, remember to use your sunscreen, today!

What's Most Important

In the last few days I have been trying to concentrate on other things than the skin cancer on my forehead.  I've been to the latest Penobscot Theatre production with friends; and celebrated another friend's birthday by going to see an amazing local band, Overdrive.  The house and the kids have needed my attention; and then there are the dogs.  If having three teenage sons wasn't busy enough, I also have three dogs...a lab mix named Molly, a peek-a-poo named Jasmine and a pug named Rocky Balboa.  Let me tell you, when all seems to be falling down around you in the world, man's best friend takes your worries away.....at least for me!

Last night I found out that a friend's husband had just been laid off. This wasn't from a company that laid of a percentage of it's work force, this was from a company that recruited him heavily from his other job a few years ago.  They have two daughters, a mortgage, credit card debt, car payments: the American "dream" and they are scared.  I know that my friend's husband wouldn't be complaining about the weekend coming to an end if he could just have gotten up this morning and went to work and the layoff was just a bad dream.

Another friend, @maggiemoo , is in the hospital with her two year old daughter in isolation.  Maggie has been fighting a very rare blood disease for most of her life.  The hospital is a common place for this young family.  What they wouldn't give to have a day without worry...a day to be a normal family of 5 getting the kids ready for school, grocery shopping, homework, trips to the park.  Instead this family is watching blood counts and planning a trip to Tufts in Boston for their daughter to have an MRI before starting an intensive treatment for her blood disorder.

So in the whole picture of things, I am really pretty fortunate.  I have this thing on my forehead that doesn't look like much; but upon closer examination it is.  Here is the "dermoscopic" photo Dr. Prokop took of my latest basal cell occurrence.  The close up shows the little capillaries that have developed within it-the big tell tale sign they look for.  Without a close up, it doesn't look like much. But in reality, it is something quite significant. Thank goodness for the diagnostic tools we have access to now that weren't around years ago, or this could have spread far beyond what it is now.

Today, at the Bangor Daily News, where I work, we were all given a reminder as to what is indeed most important.  A bomb threat had been called in and we had to evacuate the building. In an unusual turn of events, I was actually told about the bomb threat by the publisher himself.  I then notified my department and everyone at the paper gathered outside while the police and the bomb sniffing dogs did their job.  When we were all given the thumbs up that it was safe to re-enter the building, everyone sighed a sigh of relief.  Not only did we have our jobs, there had not been a bomb and nobody got hurt.

The happenings mentioned here remind me of how fortunate I really am. Yes, I'm going through a bit of a scary time but I have my job, my kids have their health, and fortunately the bomb scare was just a hoax.  No matter how bad things seem, if you listen to what's going on around you, you realize how much worse things could be.  Everyone that has a job needs to be happy they have someplace to go on Monday that will lead to a paycheck on payday.  Parents need to be grateful that their healthy kids are eating them out of house and home. And those trying to "look healthy" by tanning need to look closely at what the damage it will do to their skin.  Please, don't forget to use your sunscreen tomorrow.